Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
