Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize