I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize