I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When are your genitals available?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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