We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
