I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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