I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
