help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
