If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
