I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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