i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
