Where is the hickey?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
