we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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