i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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