Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
