Who did Billy Mays play for?
someone owes me an orgasm
vagina is talking i cant
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
