somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
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