Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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