Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
