I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
