He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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