It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
