I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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