he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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