Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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