dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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