My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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