I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
