I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
