if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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