how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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