He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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