You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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