i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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