He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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