does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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