i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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