Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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