Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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