at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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