We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't turn off my feet"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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