Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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