Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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