I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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