Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
