He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
