Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
