If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
