I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
