Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
