I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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