Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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