What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
