You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize