he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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