I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize