Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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