piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
dude. I can hear the air.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
