I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
