sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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